Black & Cream dress for son's wedding? Bride says NO. Torn, hurt and exhausted?

After spending 8 hrs trying to find a light colored dress for my sons wedding, i ended up buying a black %26amp; cream colored, very elegant, pretty dress which is all i could find. It's prom season, so most stores were picked over. My mother in law thought it was gorgeous and looked great on me (i'm very busty so not an easy find) so i bought it. Now FDIL says No she does not want me wearing it as the bridal party is black %26amp; fuschia, and she says cream is the brides color (altho her gown is white). I want to do whats right but cannot find anything else, unless i order by mail?! it's only 3 1/2 weeks away, help. thank you.Black %26amp; Cream dress for son's wedding? Bride says NO. Torn, hurt and exhausted?
Normally, when someone asks if they can wear black to a wedding, everyone comes out of the woodwork shrieking NO! NO! NO! It's funny now that everyone is telling you go ahead and wear black. They're all giving you the answer they think you want to hear. What I am going to tell you is the truth, and something that will help you. Don't trade a dress for one day for a lifetime of a rocky relationship with your son's wife.





When my husband and I got married, I vetoed black or navy blue (the color for the BMs) for the mothers' dresses and I felt comfortable doing it. Not only did they have plenty of notice, but it was for my husband's sake that I asked them not to wear black. Usually I am an advocate for wearing something that is comfortable, stylish and appropriate to a wedding, even if it is black, but he didn't care for everyone dressed in black at his brother's wedding, and that was one of the few opinions he expressed strongly about our wedding. It ended up with my MIL wearing a champagne colored dress and my mother dressed in a light green.





Had I asked my MIL not to wear black, and she insisted on wearing it, or worse yet, just showed up in black on the wedding day, I think there would have been a lot of problems, maybe not that day, but I'd certainly resent her for doing something I specifically asked her not to. At the very least, you need to discuss this with your FDIL and take her feelings into consideration. IMO, it's a very simple request that she's making and it won't hurt you to try and accomodate that. In fact, it could go a long way in the good will department and make for a more harmonious relationship between you.





I don't see any need to get your son involved. Most likely, he doesn't care. Invite your FDIL over to see how the dress looks on you and let her make the decision from that. If she doesn't like it, ask her to go shopping with you, and try to be positive.





And if you're still having trouble, imagine that as you were preparing to get married, your asked your MIL to do something for you (or not do something) and she completely went against your wishes. How would that make you feel? This day is for your son and your FDIL, so if she asks you to wear something different and you have the ability to do so, make that concession - it's not worth fighting over.





And you still have time to order online: Consider these options:


Gold: http://www.chadwicks.com/clothing/Beaded鈥?/a>


Kiwi: http://www.chadwicks.com/clothing/Portra鈥?/a>


Blush: http://www.chadwicks.com/clothing/Beaded鈥?/a>


Blush: http://www.chadwicks.com/clothing/Beaded鈥?/a>


Periwinkle or Pink: http://www.chadwicks.com/clothing/Beaded鈥?/a>





Nordstom has a TON of very lovely dresses:


http://shop.nordstrom.com/C/6006532/0~23鈥?/a>Black %26amp; Cream dress for son's wedding? Bride says NO. Torn, hurt and exhausted?
I would wear it. Perhaps have the mother in law deal with the daughter on your behalf.
Wear the dress. It sounds really pretty! You're not wearing fuscia or white, so I don't see a problem. Wear it and knock their socks off!
It does sound very elegant. Black and cream/ivory is awesome. You won't be mistaken for part of the bridal party which I have a feeling is the bride's issue. You should have your son have a talk with his bride to be, that will keep you in good graces for the future.





God bless!
Just wear the dress and be your most wonderful, beautiful self!
Since your future DiL wants you wear something specific, ask her if she'd like to go shop with you to find something. Explain that you've looked everywhere and this dress is actually perfect and you want to look your best for her special day, and that with the right fuchsia accents (corsage, jewelry, etc. you can still match the bridal party and look stunning!





(And you can't tell her, but maybe someone else can explain that if she isn't wearing cream, you wearing it is fine.)
brides are notoriously self absorbed. why should she care is she marrying your dress? wear it and have fun or take a day for yourself and blow the wedding off
If you knew what the wedding colors were, why would you choose a dress in those colors, unless the bride wanted that?





I truly understand the hard-to-fit aspect of your dilemma, but I think it would be best if you hit the malls again to see if you can find something else. You do still have 3 1/2 weeks.
it does sound very pretty, has she actually seen it on you before she made this decision? I can understand where she's comin from, I had the same colors as her, and I didn't want the moms or grandmoms wearing black b/c it would blend to much in my opinion, but ended up caving on it when my mom found the perfect dress for it and it was black and white. and it actually looked good in pics! we all matched...lol!





I know its exhausing, but it is her day, and while it is probably a bit high maintence of her, I think you have to try (within reason of course) to accomidate. I'm sure you will need her to accomidate you some day, so as with any relationship with family, ya pick your battles and know its a give and take relationship. Try a little more for a light dress if thats what she wants, and if then you can' find anything, wear the dress, but I wouldn't until I had exhausted all options!
Have you tried to sit down and explain it to her as you did here? If you tell her how hard you have tried and the difficulties you have had maybe she would be a bit more understanding. Ask her if she has any ideas since it is short notice, would she shop with you to give you help since she is so opinionated? Then perhaps she would see how hard it is for you.
I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR EXHAUSTION BUT YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF THE GROOM AND IT'S BEST NOT TO WEAR BLACK AS PER ETIQUETTE! OR YOU ARE STATING THAT YOU ARE IN MOURNING OVER THIS WEDDING!





TRY MACY'S, DILLARD'S, ALFRED ANGELO'S, DAVID'S BRIDAL, LOCAL BOUTIQUES.





GO WHEN YOU'RE FRESH AND NOT TIRED AND HAVE TIME TO ENJOY YOUR SHOPPING....DON'T BE IN A RUSH...THIS IS YOUR SON'S WEDDING.....ENJOY THE TIME AND MOMENT......YOU'RE GAINING A DAUGHTER NOT LOSING A SON......WE ALL WANT ';OUR'; WEDDINGS TO BE JUST RIGHT! REMEMBER?





HAPPY SHOPPING AND CONGRADS!


RELAX THE RIGHT DRESS IS WAITING FOR YOU!


GOD BLESS YOU!
tell the bride to get over it...that's all you can find and that's that. What's the big deal...
There's no reason why you need to match the bridal party and it's not like it will clash. If you wanted to wear lime green with orange I might understand her objections but I think she's overstepped the bounds here. She can't approve everyone's wardrobe unless she's willing to pay to have someone help with buying and choosing dresses and that's absurd. Since her mother knows the effort you put into finding the dress I'd talk to her and see if she can intervene on your behalf to calm the situation. She needs to be more realistic and see that everyone doesn't have unlimited, time, choices or budget.
I think you can get away with it, but if you can try to make her as happy as possible. Afterall, it is their day.
I'd talk to your son about it.


Your FDIL sounds like she is being a tad too controlling. See if he would be offended if you wore it.


Black and cream sounds lovely. If she's wearing white then there should be no problem.


Black and cream are only no-nos if they are the only color worn.


Wearing all cream or white is a no-no because it steals from the bride. Wearing all black is a no-no because it looks like a funeral.


But the two combined are perfectly acceptable by Emily Post standards. Especially if the cream is a little on the darker side.


If this one dress is going to make her hate you for life, then it's probably best to change the dress and save the relationship, if that's a possibility for you. If not, then you need to have a conversation with her about wearing it.


If she is flipping out over a dress, then God help your son.


Why girls freak out so much over silly things at their wedding is beyond me?
wear the dress -- it's your son's day too - not just hers





ps - my mom wore a nice black pants suit to my wedding
You shouldn't have waited so long.





It's up to the bride. It's HER day, not yours. You DON'T need to wear black since the bridal party will be wearing it, and you DON'T need to wear cream since it IS close to white.





Maybe you should try ordering by mail.
I am getting married in 7 weeks and my mom bought a black and cream dress also and it is beautiful!!! WEAR IT. there is nothing wrong with it. The colors will match the wedding party. I am assuming the dress is more black then cream, correct?





And her saying that cream is the brides colors - well honestly most mothers of the bride and mothers of the groom come in champagne these days and i think that is an iffy choice.





GO WITH IT. if you like/love the dress and you feel comfortable in it, then wear it.





Explain to your FDIL that you would really like to wear the dress and that you understand where she is coming from but this dress is your choice.





GOOD LUCK!!!
She needs to realize that you need to look good and feel comfortable too. If that dress makes you look and feel amazing, then wear it! It is not like the bridesmaid dresses, nor does it look like her dress, so there shouldn't be a problem. Would she rather you showed up in a frumpy, pastel, unflattering dress feeling uncomfortable or in something elegant that compliments her colors? She should be able to compromise with you. You're not trying to steal her thunder, but it's an important day for you too and you want to look good.
I had a similar situation during my wedding - my MIL had chosen a dress that was going to clash horribly in the pictures - but it was a completely different color from anything anyone else had on, and she eventually agreed it would clash.





Has she seen the dress on you yet? If she sees how good it looks on you, maybe she'll change her mind.





Personally, it sounds like your dress might match in wedding photos very well - which is always an important thing to consider. Still, three and a half weeks is still plenty of time to shop. I'd say you should at least make an effort to find a second dress option. Find one you're okay with - maybe something more ';Spring';-like - and let her choose by seeing both of them. Be sure to keep the tags on the new one until you decide, so you can return it!
Your future daughter in law sounds like quite the bridezilla. Sorry she's joining the family. I guess if you want to keep the peace you'll have to find another dress somehow. Perhaps you can try Ebay? Good luck!